I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Randomize
