i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize