i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize