I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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