it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
