So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm sobbing to NWA
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
