Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
