And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
And then he peed in my hair
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