I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
