This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
