I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
