I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
