coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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