Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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