Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
