Sponge bath it is.
this boner is exhausting
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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