I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
