Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
do nipples grow back?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
