Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
