Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
