I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
