i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
