You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
