When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
