dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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