did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
