i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
