All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Help me help you realize you are a moron
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
