You're so nebulous sometimes
Tell her she can't have a vagina
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize