maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
