I feel like abortions should bother me more
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
