come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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