yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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