Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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