Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Why are your pants in the freezer?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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