My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
