i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
