2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
