If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
