brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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