Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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