He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
