your thong is hanging out like whoa
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
