So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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