Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Quick, to the slutcave!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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