Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
