How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
