The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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