Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
