so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
