so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I think my vagina is haunted
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
