Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
