so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
