the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
