listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
My vagina is very pro this idea
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
