why im i the only drunk person in the library?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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