hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
