I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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