you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
