Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize