She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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