Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
