wat bout pragnant strippers??
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's official drugs can't kill me
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
