roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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