can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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