Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
