thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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