Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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