The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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